Are there people who hate society? If so, you might actually ‘love your job’.

I used to commute for an hour on a crowded train.
It was the beginning of my working life.
I feel like I was constantly thinking about overly difficult things, both while on the train and during other times.

For example, what society is, or what money is.
In the first place, I disliked the act of earning money and acquiring it.
I also disliked society itself.
That's why I remember thinking that I probably wasn't quite the right fit to work in society.

At that time, I wanted to be a writer.
I wanted to stay home and write something.
Anyway, I hated both working and society.

Just like many eager young people, I was no exception; I thought the salarymen on crowded trains looked dead, and I also thought, 'I don't want to end up like that.'
That's why I was thinking, 'I'm going to escape from this place as soon as possible.'

My first experience in working life was customer service at an art museum.
No matter how much I hated society, I had to adapt to it to live.

At the newly built, quite large art museum, people you would never meet in ordinary life would come.
Distinguished scholars, models, company presidents, and other world-renowned figures would visit.
Since we were serving those people, it was a job with great responsibility.

Even so, I couldn't fully commit myself, and I still couldn't put enough effort into my work.
Indeed, I couldn't remember the manual, nor was I the type of person to proactively share information with team members.
When it came to complaints, if I felt the content was unreasonable, it would clearly show on my face.

However, there was one moment that I truly enjoyed.
That was when I was speaking English.

Many international visitors came, and I had frequent opportunities to communicate with them.
There weren't many English-speaking staff, so when English support was needed, I had to step forward.
I didn't quite understand why myself, but for some reason, only when I was assisting in English, I could enjoy any customer service task to some extent.
Talks about hating society or hating work were pushed out of my mind.

One time, the president of a world-renowned company visited, and there was a moment when I had to explain the museum in English.
He was the president of a major company that everyone knew.

Of course, his bodyguards surrounded him, and it was a situation where I thought, 'What if I fail?' or 'If he comes to dislike the museum itself, things could get really bad.'

In any case, it was a huge responsibility.

And at that time, by chance, all other English-speaking staff were out, so I was the only one available to handle it.

When I heard that, normally, various emotions like 'I might fail' or 'I'm scared' would swirl around.
However, for some reason, the moment I thought, 'I have no choice but to do it,' all my anxieties vanished, and my feeling switched to 'OK, I'll do my best.'

As I was led to the museum entrance, the group was there without any prior notice.
The president and his entourage seemed to be chatting amicably, but overall, I felt a palpable tension.

I stepped in front of them and somehow managed to complete the explanation.

I don't remember much during the explanation.
But there were several moments when I thought, 'My pronunciation might have been difficult to understand just now.'
I realized I was nervous, and my mouth wasn't moving properly.

But after I somehow finished, the president told me, 'That was a good job, thank you.'
I don't know if it was her true feelings. Or rather, it was undoubtedly just lip service.

Even so, I felt a sense of fulfillment I had never experienced before.
At the same time, a feeling of regret arose.

Why couldn't I have spoken more skillfully?
Weren't there more things I could have said?

When I told that to the museum manager, she said something like, 'Just do your best next time.'
It was a little strange to find myself genuinely wishing for the next time to come quickly.

I was completely clueless about money and couldn't bring myself to like earning it.
I hated society, and I absolutely hated work.
I was the kind of person whose imagination ran wild, thinking things like, 'What even is society?'
However, when I finally got a job that only I could do, for some reason, I was able to get serious about it.

Looking back, I think I might have been thinking about my own value.

If I were to live like everyone else, if I were to do a job that anyone next to me could do, then what meaning would I, myself, have for the world?
That's why I couldn't fully commit to the many jobs I had experienced, and I couldn't find motivation in anything I did.

I realize now that I truly loved myself, deep down.
To think that I didn't want to be the same as others, how presumptuous was that?

However, looking back, perhaps that's precisely why I could create a job that only I could do.
Perhaps even the experiences of hating society or hating work were not entirely unnecessary.

I couldn't commit to anything I did, and I had no interest in the jobs of the world.
Such people might be looking for a 'job that only they can do.'
Something only I can do. Something no one else can substitute for.

If one can find meaning in existence there, I believe they will demonstrate high potential when they acquire the necessary abilities.