The reason why one goes out of their way to force themselves to seek stimulation in places other than daily life.

Sometimes, like a blog, I think I'll keep a record of things in my own mind.

It might be because I've come up with a brilliant idea and am too hyped up on adrenaline to sleep, or it might simply be a pleasant night with the wind flowing in through the window. At least, it's different from the common image of a 'Friday night,' but either way, it's a night where my emotions are running high and I can't sleep.

So, though it's sudden, I think I'll try to write about why I deliberately seek stimulation outside of my daily routine. Even when a happy daily life is within reach, why do I intentionally pursue challenging things? I think it's not a bad idea to ponder such an age-old question.

To put it simply, it's because I feel bored. I feel bored, and I can't find anything that can fill that void in my heart. I seek thrills because I'm bored. I think that's the principle of action for humans like us. If one can find happiness in what's called 'daily life,' that's surely the most wonderful thing, but whether it's a trick of DNA or an adaptability to the environment we're born into, there are times when that alone isn't enough. It's something very impulsive and deeply rooted.

I heard a story about a certain DNA. Apparently, there's a DNA called DRD4-7R. It's a gene that 20% of the world's population possesses. People with it love challenges, love to travel, and love to experience new ways of thinking, landscapes, and foods. These impulses are said to be caused by the DRD4-7R gene, and at the same time, it's also a 'disease' called wanderlust, which affects 20% of the world's population. What about me? Honestly, if you say it's genetic, I can think of some reasons why it might be true for me. Whether I have it or not, if I did, I'd consider myself lucky right now.

There are times when I feel that daily life is simply not enough, that it's boring, and I want to do something beyond the ordinary. That's why I try to pursue something that crosses a line, and sometimes I take dangerous gambles. So, what does that mean? In the end, to put it roughly, I think it's a grand pastime, betting one's life. All principles of action. Seeking something exciting, or betting something of myself, it's because I can't be satisfied with a world where things are within reach if I just extend my hand, so I deliberately make it fun for myself.

To put it extremely, I like situations where I'm about to lose something, or I'm cornered, or I feel like I absolutely can't clear it. The exhilaration of desperately racking my brain and finding a solution when pushed into such a tight spot. That is pleasure itself, beyond anything else. One time, when I suddenly broke through an impossible situation, I felt 'comfortable' – that was the beginning of it all.

I don't remember when it was, but ever since then, even though no one asked me to, I've been enjoying building high walls in front of myself and overcoming them on my own. It's the ultimate self-made drama and a pastime in extreme conditions. That's precisely why I want to create a place where everyone can enjoy themselves from the bottom of their hearts together.

Therefore, I have a feeling that the world itself, and by extension, life itself, is like being given an incredibly grand playground. How to use the vast world spread out before me, how to devise and create enjoyable stories. Isn't that what living is all about?

Interesting stories always involve both failures and successes. It's good to crawl back from extreme situations. A story with only successes isn't interesting, and one with only failures isn't fun. I tend to view the world with such values. To put it extremely, people love stories where one crawls back from a 'barely out' situation, and as usual, because I also love such stories, I even want to dive headfirst into 'barely out' situations.

That's why life is incredibly fun. Both failures and successes are all fun. Success is fun precisely because there are failures. Sometimes you can't overcome things and are plunged into the depths, and that's precisely why a world like the upper echelons is also fun. The feeling of 'I crawled out of the bottom, take that!' But then, in turn, you might miss the bottom. In the end, it's always wanting what you don't have.

Anyway, I'm grateful to whatever gave me such a grand game, and to the fate that gave me life. Even if I'm reborn next, I definitely want to be reborn as a human. However, a board given by others is boring, so I want to create even that board with my own hands. The world we live in is a kind place that actually 'seeks' such selfishness.

It's not money. It's not time. Freedom for oneself is the ultimate self-made drama, where you build walls and then overcome them. The very existence of an environment where this can be achieved is immeasurable freedom. In other words, I'm constantly seeking thrills, excitement, and a sense of accomplishment in my life. The world and living are a grand playground. It's good to enjoy both failures and successes together. If you think that way, maybe some people will feel a little easier. Probably.

Within that, I want to uphold my own aesthetics and values. I want to choose both freedom and unfreedom with my own hands, I want to laugh and say 'I can't accept what I can't accept,' and I want to seize my life's choices myself, not have them given to me. Living honestly according to my desires, whether I fail or succeed, both are fun in their own way. I think I have a personality that is utterly full of selfishness. With a touch of irony.

However, failures will come when they come, so I strive with all my might towards success. It is a valuable failure precisely because you strive for success and then fail. Wishing for failure by saying 'It's better to have failures in life, right?' is just the unpleasantness of becoming a tragic heroine and indulging in self-intoxication. Therefore, I think the essence is the feeling of aiming for success, enjoying life to the fullest, initiating innovation, having a blast, and getting excited. Is that wrong?

And so, it turned into a somewhat incomprehensible story… I shouldn't be writing a blog at such a strange hour. That said, a blog is essentially a log, so it's fine as a diary or record. I think it's not bad to sometimes use it in accordance with its original purpose. If everyone revealed more of what's inside them, various troublesome communications would surely be accompanied by understanding.