How to overcome the most useless ‘doubt’ and ‘anxiety’ in this world.

People often get lost. Whether to confess or not, what to do with their career, whether to quit their job or not, what to do with their life from now on. They assume there are many choices in front of them and get confused about which one to pick. They also feel anxious about an uncertain future. Will they succeed or not, will they pass or not, will they be able to do it well or not? Everyone gets anxious about things they can't see, don't they?

However, if you think about it properly, you'll realize that there's nothing more wasteful in life than 'hesitation' and 'anxiety'. Why? If you understand that mechanism, I believe you'll never get lost or feel anxious again in your life. In fact, although I sometimes think things are a bit risky, I no longer hesitate or feel anxious about anything. Today, I'm going to write about how to overcome 'hesitation' and 'anxiety'.

1. First, clearly decide on your priorities within yourself.

People get lost when they don't know which path to choose in front of them.

For example, let's say you confess to someone you love. In this case, there are two options: to confess or not to confess. In reality, to date someone you love, you have no choice but to confess, so why don't people try?

That's because they're afraid that confessing will break the relationship. They worry whether confessing will create a rift in their existing friendship. They fear that negative outcome. So, what should you think in such a situation?

To confess or not to confess. What are the factors that determine this? It's priorities. 'The risk of confessing and, by any chance, failing, causing a rift in the relationship' versus 'the return if you confess and succeed'. Which takes precedence? Writing something like this might seem too inhuman. Lol. And there's also the question of whether people who think this way are even popular in the first place. Lol. But facts are facts, so let's try it first. For now, try to set your emotions aside and think.

So, for you, which has a higher priority: risk or return? The joy of dating versus the rift if you lose them. Saying you can't choose either is not an option. It might be a tiny difference, but try to choose. If you had to say, which one? Perhaps while you're agonizing like this, someone else might snatch them away. Would you regret not having confessed then? Or would maintaining the relationship as friends make you happier? But if you don't act, eventually they'll become someone else's…

After thinking it over, if you decide it's better to confess, then it's GO time. Act with the resolve to go down in flames if necessary. Because, at that point, there are no other options left. Once you've decided, all you have to do is not turn back and move forward. If the joy of gaining outweighs the fear of losing, then there's no other path than to execute. Of course, there's also the strategy of raising the other person's favorability before confessing. If that's the case, then start expressing yourself in a way that raises their favorability right now. And then, think about when to confess.

Ultimately, whether to confess or not. How quickly do you make that decision? Time should be invested in the process after the decision, not in the decision itself. Furthermore, the faster you make a decision, the more time you can dedicate to the path you've chosen. For example, if you decide to raise the other person's favorability, you can invest time in the process of raising that favorability. Don't you think that's many times better?

Let's apply the same content to your own career path. For example, let's say you don't have anything you want to do. You've fallen into the dilemma of not knowing what to do. You might think this has nothing to do with priorities or where to start, but in reality, this is also about priorities. Let's use the process of elimination along with priorities.

So, let's say your current self is just staying at home and doing part-time work. But you feel you need to get a more proper job. Something is bothering you. Let's assume you're thinking, 'Is it okay to continue these days?' But you don't know what to do.

Actually, at this stage, you can already narrow down your future.

First, if you've thought that you need to get a more proper job, let's assume there are people for whom the keyword 'full-time employee' comes to mind. It's simple, but for now, let's think, 'Okay, I'll become a full-time employee.' Then the question becomes, 'What kind of company's full-time employee should I aim for?' But in this case, the premise is that you don't know what you're interested in.

In such cases, try listing the jobs you 'don't want to do' instead. For example, you don't want to work in a restaurant, or you don't want to do civil engineering work. Or you don't want to work in hot places or outdoors. People are selfish creatures with many things they don't want to do, so a lot should come up. Now, what's left?

If there are a few things left, then you can just roll a dice to decide. For you, all the jobs you've chosen by eliminating the undesirable ones are lying before you with equal value. Try them all, from right to left, until you get accepted. If you can't become a full-time employee right away, starting as a part-timer or contract employee is fine. If some skill is required, try to acquire it, even through self-study. In that way, try out the jobs that still remain after eliminating the undesirable ones.

And if you get accepted, try to continue in that 'industry'. You don't have to stay with the same company, but try to remain in the industry. You might not be interested at first. But after a few years in the same industry, anyone will become proficient in that work.

People's interests originally stem from successful experiences and things they are good at. Without a sense of successful experience, proficiency, or familiarity, you can't come to like something. So, by thoroughly spending time in the same industry, some kind of passionate feeling will emerge towards the work. If someone speaks ill of your work, you'll want to say, 'Don't underestimate it.' Once you reach that point, you'll be able to make a living from that work, and your place will be complete.

How about that? Whether it's confessing or choosing a job, if you think about it properly, what is most beneficial for you will emerge. If you logically decide on your priorities and think it through, you'll understand which will be the best decision.

Usually, hesitation comes from unorganized thoughts. Reality and the future. If you consider your current feelings and whether it's realistic, and then make a decision, there's no need to hesitate. If the path is visible, yet you hesitate and can't decide, it's just a waste of time. Make a quick decision and invest your time in moving forward.

For example, is there any meaning in hesitating for a year, being unable to decide, and staying in the same place? It's the same if you continue in an environment for a year where you think it's better to quit or change something. Whether you fail or succeed, just step forward and try; if it doesn't work out, you can try a different path.

That way, you'll grow much more and gain new experiences. You might even find a path you're satisfied with. If you're going to hesitate, you might as well just try it quickly and fail. There's no need to idly spend meaningless time. So, when you're lost, think logically and quickly choose the option with the highest priority. And then, invest your time in the path you've chosen.

2. When you're lost, try to think by completely removing your emotions.

But why can't you decide? Some people might think, 'Even if you say that, it won't work out so well.' That's because of emotions, isn't it? Thoughts like, 'What if I fail?' or 'I'm not confident I can do it.' But if you think about it carefully, those are just hindsight. Whether you can or can't, whether you succeed or fail, you won't know until you've tried it.

It would be different if there were someone who could read the future 100%, but in the paths you can imagine, is there anyone who knows for sure that they will 100% fail or be unable to do something? If you intend to fail on purpose, then you will fail, but if you dislike failing in the first place, there's no such thing as a 100% failure.

Even if you fail temporarily, the probability of success will increase as you repeat failures. In the meantime, it's okay if you make a fatal mistake and get kicked out of your workplace. You can just switch your mindset and make a comeback at your next job. If you get rejected by someone you like, cry for a bit, and then move on.

The reason you can't make that resolve is because emotions fear failure. Emotions are unnecessary for decision-making. What's needed is priority. Even if you're swayed by emotions, the path you ultimately should choose is the action with your highest priority. Since you ultimately have no choice but to choose that, why do you need to hesitate? It's a waste of time just organizing your feelings.

In the first place, people who fear failure are only those who haven't experienced significant failure. No, I think the feeling of fear is natural. Nobody likes to fail. But that doesn't mean your feet will stop moving.

For example, let's say you challenge something and fail 100 times. And on the other hand, you succeed 110 times. Then, whether the 100 failures become 101, there's not much damage. You'll just think of failing as 'Oh, I did it again.' Plus, you're not going to die. You can restart as many times as you want. There are endless chances to make a comeback.

Of course, you should reflect. Not reflecting is bad. If you fail, you should reflect, learn from it, and improve. No matter the situation, as long as you don't die, you can always start over. Yet, you're afraid of something and can't take a step forward. That's because you still have little experience with failure. Even though your mind can process it if you gain experience, not gaining experience is a risk in itself for your life. At the same time, you're also missing out on the probability of success.

Anyway, let's just try it and repeat many failures and successes. Spending time on the assumption of 'stepping in' or 'not stepping in' until then is a waste, as it leads to neither failure nor success. You should just choose immediately and gain both failure and success experiences. Even though you should do that, what's the point of fearing the future with 'I'm scared' or 'I'm anxious'?

3. If you decide by setting priorities and suppressing your emotions, your destination will be clear in 15 minutes.

Therefore, what's important are priorities and emotional control. If you can properly manage these two, all the time you've spent hesitating for a week or a month can be used for meaningful things. Whether it's a failure or a success, it's undoubtedly far more meaningful than being stuck in indecision. Indecision can be resolved within 15 minutes if you can grasp your priorities well. Once you get used to it, it'll take only a few seconds, an instant.

There might be times when you can't take the plunge because you don't know where to start thinking or what to do. In such cases, try to create some criteria. In the previous example, we determined priorities by eliminating 'unpleasant tasks,' right? On the other hand, there might be things you 'cannot compromise on,' such as your family environment, time management, or hobbies. Then, try to choose a direction where you don't have to compromise on those non-negotiable items. There shouldn't be too many options.

Once you've narrowed it down little by little using elimination or whatever method, all that's left is action. If you know you should do something but can't move, it's because your emotions aren't under control. Believe that everything, whether failure or success, will become your blood and flesh, and suppress your emotions. Anxiety is useless. Whether you'll fail or not is something only those who try will know. Eliminate all anxiety, and since failing isn't a big deal, just try. And then, just accumulate as many failures as you can.

So, if you properly set priorities, establish criteria, and then take the plunge into what's most important without fearing the outcome, there's no need for indecision. How to control and tame fear and apprehension. How not to be afraid of failure. Just by doing that, you can absorb many times more experiences much faster than in an average person's life. Everyone, make decisions, make choices, and take on challenges. We don't have a single second to waste on indecision. Life is short, after all.